A to Z Challenge

A to Z Challenge

Monday, July 16, 2012

First paragraph of Return of the Crown

Connor shuffled to the Royal Coach, leaning a wrinkled hand on its glossy side, steadying himself. The King and Queen stood side-by-side waiting for his final report. Connor sensed the pervasive evil that clung to the air, throwing the safety of the royal family's trip in peril. How could he convince them to stay? King Bryant overflowed with bulldog determination, and he’d set his sights on making this trip. Blowing out a heavy frustrated breath, Connor looked up into his King’s eyes.
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16 comments:

  1. Alleged AuthorJuly 16, 2012 at 1:26 PM

    And the king...is going to kill him? Cool paragraph!

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    1. UnknownJuly 16, 2012 at 3:54 PM

      Hmmm, that would be one way for the story to go ; )

      Delete
  2. Roland D. YeomansJuly 16, 2012 at 5:55 PM

    Thank you so much for visiting my blog and following. This first paragraph draws the reader in quickly and makes you pull for Connor! :-)

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  3. UnknownJuly 16, 2012 at 8:37 PM

    Thanks, that's the hope : )

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  4. TJuly 16, 2012 at 9:55 PM

    You've got (probably) the two most important people in the land in potential peril right off the bat, how could we readers not be hooked? Great job at creating mystery in such a small amount of words. I look forward to seeing which character you interview on Wednesday!

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    1. UnknownJuly 17, 2012 at 12:49 PM

      Yup...things are looking bad for our monarchs...

      Delete
  5. Tonya KuperJuly 17, 2012 at 8:44 AM

    Nice hook! I love "bulldog determination." : )

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  6. AnonymousJuly 17, 2012 at 8:55 AM

    I love the feel of a war-weary man wondering how he can express his gut feeling to his King, without annoying him in the process!

    I am wondering though... what pervasive evil? How did he sense it? Was it something in the air, a smell that reminded him of a past atrocity he'd witnessed? Was it an aching in his bones at the memory of battles long past? Shadows at the corner of his vision that faded when he tried to confront them? Give me a palpable sense of dread!

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    1. UnknownJuly 17, 2012 at 12:49 PM

      The magic in the world of Aigerach does indeed have a scent...and, at least I got you wondering.

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  7. A.J. LockeJuly 17, 2012 at 10:49 AM

    Some good tension here, I'm definitely wondering what's going on!

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    1. UnknownJuly 17, 2012 at 12:51 PM

      Glad to hear it. We certainly hope we get it right!

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  8. ClareJuly 17, 2012 at 10:51 AM

    Intriguing snippet, I wonder what danger the royal family is in. Excellent use of language.

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  9. UnknownJuly 17, 2012 at 12:52 PM

    Thank you Clare, maybe Ravyn will fill you in on Wednesday...

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  10. Sharon BaylissJuly 17, 2012 at 9:26 PM

    Hi Millie, thanks for joining the fest. Great to meet you! Intriguing beginning.

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    Replies
    1. UnknownJuly 18, 2012 at 1:03 PM

      Thanks Sharon, I'm happy to be meeting so many talented and friendly people!

      Delete

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