Time is ticking away, and I'm helpless to prevent it. I look in the mirror, and I do not see a woman who has two adult children. I have three babies. Don't I? Who am I kidding, even my baby isn't a baby. Yesterday she proved that by taking on all the high speed thrilling roller coasters at Six Flags Marine World.
Two of my babies are fully grown. One is working and going to school here in town. So while she roosts in the coop, she's spending more and more time out in the world on her own. This is a good thing, a necessary thing.
The other adult child is heading off to college in less than a week. She is flying the coop. I am so proud of her, and yet, I wish I could tuck her under my wing for just a little longer...
I look at my wee chick, who is growing so fast, and I shudder. Nine years ago, my coop flier was her age and she was just a newborn babe. Look where we are now. The time is sliding past me, whisking my children along with it...taking them from me.
There is a war going on inside me. It is about getting past the feelings of loss and reveling in the pride. And of that, I have plenty, for my husband and I have raised some pretty amazing kids. Smart, talented, beautiful, kind, respectful, etc. etc.
The next couple weeks are going to be rough, some adjustments aren't meant to be easy. There will be tears shed, and I really hate crying, it's so salty and drippy and annoying. I know I still have time to mother all over my little one, she still needs me. And, I know my older two still need me too, just not in the same way.
Nicki, Sami and Sierra, I love you with all my heart.
I am experiencing the very thing, last year!
ReplyDeleteTwo of my babies are on their own: Oldest married and the next oldest out on his own, both a *long* way from home.
My next one in line is talking marriage next year.
My 11th grader is still with me, too.
Then I have the 8yr. old and the 3yr old.
Wow.
I feel just like you. Missing my kiddo's but sooooo proud of how they have turned out.
Smiles and hugs as you move into this part of your life:)
I know I'm not the only one feeling this way, and it's sure nice to know I'll live through it. Thanks for swinging by and sharing that with me. I'm generally a really happy go lucky person. I very rarely cry. I have had tears threatening to fall the last couple days. Sigh. I am so thankful Sierra is just nine...I'm really gonna have to figure out a way to stop the clock, anyone know any crazy mad scientist types?
DeleteMy daughter will be 30 this year, and I still miss the baby/toddler/child/teenager that she was. Ah well, we still talk on the phone almost every day. You're "child" that's flying the coop? Have her set you up with skype. My daughter did that when she went off to college. Then I could walk around the house with the laptop and show her the cat and dogs and everything she was missing:)
ReplyDeleteIt's funny you should mention Skype. At first, she was like, "I'm not skyping." But, her friends were pretty insistent with her, and she is planning on skyping with them. So, I have them to thank for breaking the stubborn barrier : ) She is off campus for a couple days, and I can't talk to her (they confiscated cell phones). But, surprisingly, my pride is outweighing my sadness, and I'm finding I can patiently wait to see her smile again.
DeleteTotally unrelated to this post - My hubs is from Santa Cruz! Small world. :-)
ReplyDeleteVery cool! What part of town does he hail from?
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