Missing Momma

Christmas brings with it a frenzied burst of activity, buying presents, attending parties, reconnecting with friends. It is also a time when many people find themselves missing someone special. Someone no longer here. My mother passed several years ago. I miss her daily, though like many others, I feel the lack of her presence at this time of year. She, so loving and giving, a truly unselfish angel on earth. I wanted to take the time to post a little something I wrote the day after she'd died.

I am sitting here at Clear Lake, on the balcony of a condo, waiting for the sun to rise. I can't sleep anymore. I need to watch the sun come up, hear the birds, and reflect. I am not feeling overly sorrowful, and in fact, feel glad you are at peace, and had the courage to let go. I'm glad pain is unable to find you. Rest easy in death's gentle hands. For now, it is easy for you. A quiet repose until your savior gently wakes you with a kiss and a good morning sunshine.

You have given of yourself tirelessly over the years, and have suffered so many trials. Peace be with you, Merbles.

You have taught me so much. It was you and daddy that turned me into the person I am today. Though I know I am far from perfect, I think I turned out reasonably well, and that speaks volumes about you. The most important thing I received from you throughout my life was love. Unconditional Love. Thank you.
Thank you for all those hugs and kisses, especially those on my forehead. They were the most special.
Thank you for letting me crawl into your bed to cuddle, even when I'd grown far too old to do it.
Thank you for letting me squash you as you sat in your comfy chair, just so I could prove I still fit on my momma's lap.
Thank you for being firm, and teaching me definite rights from wrongs, and setting parameters. Those things I pushed so desperately hard against. Even as I rebelled, I knew you placed them there to keep me safe.
Thank you for instilling a love of music in me.
Thank you for expecting the most out of me, and not accepting mediocrity.
Thank you for encouraging dreams and goals.
Thank you for seeing beyond the mischief maker.

I hope you know it was an honor and a privilege to be your daughter.

A kiss on the forehead is special
When given by you
No one does it better
It erases fears
Eases tears
Restores happiness and hope
Give me just one more - Please

I wish I could have been there with you, to kiss your forehead, to let you know it was okay.