A to Z Challenge

Saturday, September 28, 2013

WeWriWa - The smell of magic

Happy Weekend, my friends.  Put your feet up and relax, and join us in the sharing of eight sentences.  Some posts might scare you, some might tug on your heart strings, and some might make you laugh.  Join all the folks at WeWriWa who are participating and leave some comment love!

Last week, Ravyn and the dragon got the communication ball rolling.  But, is it going very well?  If you'd like to read the entire excerpt you can find it here.  Ena accused Ravyn of stealing her egg, "You admit you've been here a whole day.  You had time..."


...Now you are wasting mine, where’s my egg?”  She snorted a large plume of smoke, stoking her internal fires.
Ravyn thought frantically, “Your egg must be large.  Could I carry it?  You live in those caves I saw on the other side of the island.  Could I get all the way over there and return here with your egg in such a short period of time?”

“Well of course it’s bigger than you are,” snapped the dragon, “but…”  Ena looked puzzled; the hoods over her golden eyes narrowed, “You used magic; I smell it on you.”


56 comments:

  1. Ravyn's logic is thwarted by the dragon's olfactory senses! Foiled again!

    The only thing I would change is making the comma in the first sentence a period. Like, "Now you are wasting mine. Where is my egg?" It seems like the dragon is being more deliberate with her words, rather than rushed, and I feel that the comma is what's making it seem more urgent. The dragon is obviously more powerful. The only one who should be in a hurry here is Ravyn! :P

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    1. She's more powerful, but she's a frantic momma. But I see what you are saying...I like how that would read also. Thanks for the comments Nora!

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  2. Ha! Ena and Ravyn better get this communication thing worked out before someone gets seared to a crisp! There is a nice visual flow here "Ena looked puzzled; the hoods over her golden eyes narrowed,".

    Good snippet, Millie! :-)

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    1. Thanks Teresa! Have a great rest of your weekend!

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  3. You're an awesome writer, Millie. Makes me wish I could actually live in your magical world. :)

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    1. Oh Dana, thank you so much for such wonderful praise. You just brought the biggest smile to my face!

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  4. I've said it before and I will say it again. I love this story :)

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    1. Thanks Joss! You guys are giving me the warm fuzzies this morning!

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  5. I love these characters, especially Ena's last word - it made me want to know more. I agree with Nora's comment about the comma in the first sentence. Great snippet!

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    1. Thank you Frank. Ena is one of my favorites...she's so feisty and crusty, but really a sweetie at heart!

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  6. I love how Ravyn thinks she's explained everything but Ena keeps trumping it. Ravyn's doing really well for being so very nervous! I'll be back next time.

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    1. She's got a pretty good head on her shoulders for just being 17. Glad you were able to swing through today : )

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  7. Love this exchange! What a clever dragon. Makes me wonder what magic smells like. :D Great work!

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    1. Ah, in this world, each person able to manipulate the Light or the Darkness has their own unique scent. Ravyn's smells a bit like sweet peas : )

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  8. This exchange is classic. I love Ena's voice!

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    1. Thanks Steve. She wasn't just born yesterday ; )

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  9. This is wonderful! I never considered the possibility that magic had a scent, but I love that you did.

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  10. Thank you. In this world, each practitioner of magic has their own unique scent. It generally fits their personality or the "color" of their magic.

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  11. The dragon certainly has an answer for everything but I hope she starts listening to Ravyn soon and they can solve the problem of the missing egg. Excellent excerpt!

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    1. Ravyn is a bit suspicious looking from the dragon's POV : )

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  12. Ruh-roh--the dragon seems like it's on to Ravyn! And Rayvn did a nice job with her evasion tactics--nicely done!

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    1. The dragon is quite clever. But so is Ravyn.

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  13. she wants her egg and is very clear about that. I love the image of her narrowing her eyes before she announces she smells magic. ends on a teasing note and has me wondering

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    1. Yup, no doubt about it. Taking a dragon's egg is not a good idea...

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  14. Uh oh. Is using magic a bad thing? Nice description! Well done.

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    1. In this case, she used magic to communicate with the dragon...if she hadn't, she'd probably already be torched. But the dragon thinks she used magic for a different purpose.

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  15. So the dragon can smell that magic was used, but now how.

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    1. Dragons are creatures of magic and can smell it as well as those who practice magic.

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  16. I am so loving this story! Well done with the eights, Millie.

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    1. Thank you so much : ) It was fun to write!

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  17. These two seem equally matched as far as wits and stubbornness go. Fun little argument!

    (PS: Sorry about not commenting back last week. I set time aside on Sunday for WeWriWa, but the rest of the week was a bit crazy.)

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    1. I absolutely understand : ) I've headed back to the working world, and time has become a very precious commodity. I don't think I made it to all the reads even last week!

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  18. Fighting a dragon with logic---I love it! :D

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    1. It may or may not get you where you need to go : )

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  19. Love the imagery of the fires within her. :) Great 8!

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    1. Thank you Danita...she's a fiery tempered dragon, that's for sure.

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  20. Ha! No way loogic can stand up to magic. Great 8!

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    1. Nope, she's gonna have to come up with something else. We've tried flattery, and logic...hmm...what's next?

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  21. The smell of magic in the air... love it! Great scene.

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    1. Thanks Karen, I imagine magic smells delightful!

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  22. You show so many things in just this little snippet. Well done.

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  23. Great pacing here, Millie! Nicely done.

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  24. I guess just saying 'I don't have your egg' won't work, she has to prove it. Or else!

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    1. Yup, this dragon thinks she's caught her culprit!

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  25. I like the dragon, she seems clever and strong. :)

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    1. She's both, and she has a wicked sense of humor to boot, though that's not really depicted here : )

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  26. Intriguing 8. :) I hope she gets her egg back soon.

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    1. Thanks Heather. It's not looking good at the moment...

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  27. Love that your dragons talk! And they have a sense of humor, which rocks :D Love this story! I always enjoy your 8!

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    1. Thank you Karen. So glad you could swing by!

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  28. Hum, the nice smell of Magic. Ravyn is going to have a hard time getting out of this one.

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    1. She's still gonna have to think of something...

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