A to Z Challenge

Saturday, June 7, 2014

WeWriWa - 'she' promised it our souls...

It's Sunday, a Weekend Writing Warrior kind of day!  
"Say What?" you say.  
Lemme give you the skinny.  On Sunday, fine authory-type folks dole out eight sentences from their WIP or a published piece of writing.  They leave a trail that can be followed here.  Each link takes you to a different author, with their own unique voice, who strings words together in clever fashion.  Some tales are scary, some are downright sexy, some might make you giggle.  And, as far as I can tell, these folks love to hear from you.  So, take a few moments to sample a few treats and then tell 'em what you like about their writing!

I'm continuing with my WIP, still not really titled.  Last week Ravyn and Lareina were discussing the missing wine...and if the Mara had taken it.  Ravyn is the first to speak...

“No, the Mara showed up, and it wouldn't take the coin as a gift.  It said ‘she’ promised it our souls; that the Darkness didn’t care about rules.”
“What?”
“It started giving me the most horrible visions,” Ravyn shuddered.
“I’m so sorry honey, you shouldn’t have been the one to deal with it, I should’ve been awake.”
“No, mom, it’s okay.  I only had to see those visions for a moment, you spent a whole night being tortured by them.  Besides, His Nibs showed up and saved the day.”

 So this is rough first draft, of course I always love to hear ideas on how to improve flow etc.  

Next weekend is Father's Day Weekend, and my wedding anniversary.  I'm heading to Monterey for some much needed family time, and likely won't post.  So happy Father's Day to those dad's who come by today in advance!

27 comments:

  1. Now how is she going to explain his nibs to her mother?

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  2. Interesting. I backtracked a bit and am a bit confused - the trouble with reading only a few sentences at a time. I thought His Nibs had lured the Mara away with gold. Is "the coin as a gift" referring to something else from earlier on?

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    1. Ravyn was planning on offering the Mara a gold coin as a gift. Folk lore states you can get a Mara to leave off an attack by promising it a gift, hence the gold coin. The Mara wasn't playing by the rules and didn't want their coin...but decided His Nibs' bag full of coins might be worth the deal...so His Nibs saved them with his magical coins : )

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  3. I'm wondering if the mother knows His Nibs already...a very interesting story going on here. Excellent snippet!

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    1. His Nibs has been around awhile...we'll see : )

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  4. It seems like you're doing a really good job of wedging your character between a rock and hard place.

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    1. : ) She's good at untangling messes : )

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  5. So who is this "she" and what does she want with Ravyn and her mother? Very intriguing world you're building here.

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  6. Ah, so His Nibs plays a bit of a hero in this, lovely because his character is so humorous. And I's also curious who promised their souls.
    I will miss you next week but have a glorious weekend. You have a wonderful way with words - even your intro to the WeWriWa hop is entertaining. Thanks.

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  7. And your world goes spinning 'round and 'round ending with his Nibs, The Pie Eyed Joker. Interesting story with mischief afoot and a hoot to boot.

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    1. : ) Always some fun to be had in Aigerach...even with the scary creatures and wars and maniacal sorceresses : )

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  8. Oh, the story is taking a dark turn. I think I missed last week's post. I'll have to catch up. You do such a fantastic job character writing, Millie!

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  9. Interesting. Her mum's torture explains why it was Ravyn facing the Mara. Intrigued to find out how mum responds to His Nibs.
    I love reading your introduction each week. You do such an amazing job pulling the reader in;).

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    1. I try to get creative...I hope I never run out of ideas : )

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  10. Okay, I'm going to go back and catch up, Millie, but I'm intrigued and excited to figure this one out. One small thing (the editor speaks--yikes!) When your character talks to his mom and calls her mom, it's her name, so should be capitalized, So, "No, Mom. it's okay." Make sense? Great 8!!

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    1. Thank you Nan, yes it does, and I love the help : ) These are the things second sets of eyes are for!

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  11. This is taking a dark turn. Promising souls and nightmares that go on a whole night--not so much fun any more. Nice 8!

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    1. A Mara is a nasty creature for sure!

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  12. Her mother was tortured? Whoa. That is a dark turn. Cool and deftly down, but dark.

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    1. Tortured with horrific nightmare visions from which she could not awaken...yup, that's a Mara for you.

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  13. How horrible-- the nightmares. Revealing snippet.

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  14. Yet another intriguing excerpt! We'll miss you next weekend, Millie, but I wish you a very happy anniversary! Enjoy your family time! :)

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  15. It would be a cool twist if Lareina had met His Nibs before. You leave us with an anticipatory excerpt-- :D

    Happy Anniversary, Happy Dad's Day, hope you guys have a blast. You deserve it!

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  16. Great interaction. Those nightmares sound terrifying! Excellent snippet.

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