A to Z Challenge

Saturday, August 23, 2014

WeWriWa - I thought this story was about a Prince...

I'm back...did you miss me?  Last week, my warrior self was tackling the Sierra Nevada's with a knapsack on my back.  Completely off grid.  I did however, miss all my fellow warriors, and am glad to be back sharing eight lines from Zelera's Revenge.  If you don't know anything about Weekend Writing Warriors you should click on the link and find all the other amazing warrior authors sites.  There's bound to be a style of writing that your hunkering for.

Zelera has been trying to tell Kes a story.  She stated the prince in her story had a younger brother who was a cheat, and that's why the prince lost his birthright...If you'd like a reminder of what last occurred, click here.
 
 
“Well, if he used his magic, and it was better and the King liked it more, then how did he cheat?  Sounds like he won fair and square.”

“There is nothing fair and square about stealing a birthright.  That’s what she did.”

“She did?  I thought this story was about a Prince.”

“Oh,” she huffed, “You just go to sleep.  I can’t tell you a story, you’re insufferable.”
 
As always, love to hear your thoughts and opinions.  Nice to know if the piece is working or not : )

38 comments:

  1. Methinks Zelera gave herself away... Kes sounds so precocious, I can imagine he might be trying on Zelera's nerves as she tries very had to hold on to her gruff exterior. A few times some "softness" seems to have poked out. Great 8.

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    1. Zelera is gruff. She's been trying to be soft...believe it or not. But, real true softness may actually show up because Kes may just wear her down : )

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    1. He's pretty bright and a bit of trouble to boot : )

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  3. Enjoyed the attitude conveyed. Great snippet.
    Juneta at Writer's Gambit

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    1. Thank you. There's definitely a lot of attitude going around with these two...

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  4. Not much point reading stories to that kid. Glad you had fun in Sierra Nevada.

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    1. Desolation is a most amazing place. We had a great overnight back packing trip, thanks. I think Kes really does love stories, but he makes the storyteller work to get it delivered, that's for sure.

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  5. You have Kes's attention span down pat. ;) Great snippet.

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    1. Three children of my own, and loads of nieces and nephews. I know a thing or two about kids : )

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  6. I like this kid's questioning mind.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2014/08/weekend-writing-warriors-82514.html

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    1. Thanks Joyce : ) Kes is pretty darn cute.

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  7. I like this...because most would perceive the story was about the prince, but it rarely is. Nice snippet

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    1. Yeah, she's not extremely imaginative, and tried to wrap some truth in fiction. Not sure she's succeeding : )

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  8. LOL this makes me laugh every time. His innocent questions getting under her skin I can easily picture the scene in my head.

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  9. Seemed like a fair question to me. The he/she thing was so obviously out of place it brought me up short too. I actually stopped to re-read wondering if it was a typo or my memory before reading on and seeing it was intentional on your part :)

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    1. He he he...she just had that little slip of the tongue.

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  10. Love Kes, gotta love a child's questioning mind. :-) Hope you enjoyed the Sierra Nevada!

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    1. The mountains are always good for the spirit! It was beautiful up there. And little ones do make us pause, sometimes in wonder and at times with frustration : )

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  11. I think he's asking all the right questions myself. But I can see why she's exasperated! Interesting story, great 8...

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    1. Thanks Veronica. He's just a curious little boy, trying to make sense of his world at the moment.

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  12. Kes sounds just like my granddaughter age 6 and a half. Tell it straight or else. Love your story telling, Millie. So much humor and reality in this segment.

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    1. Thanks Charmaine. Kes is like so many children I know : )

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    1. Likely she's in for a bit more than she expected.

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  14. What an adventure! Hope you had fun. This is a great snippet yet again, and I love these characters. So real and believable, and humorous and endearing. Great job!

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    1. Thank you Victoria. These two are certainly a hoot to write.

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  15. This is such a great scene--the whole attempt at a bedtime story! You've written it so well, Millie. And I'm glad you had fun out hiking!

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    1. Thanks Teresa. Sierra was an astounding backpacker. Not a complaint the whole time, and it was a six mile hike in, over rocky terrain that didn't lend itself to not paying attention to your feet.

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  16. Ha! She got caught. Sounds like this story has a lot of truth to it:)

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  17. Insufferably right? Out of the mouths of babes! :D

    Excellent snippet, as always, Millie!

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    1. Yeah, he's pushing buttons like a pro!

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  18. Smart little boy;). Sounds like you had a great time.

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    1. He's pretty bright all right. We did have fun, thanks. Night skies away from the city are so amazing...it takes my breath away!

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  19. The story is definitely about the aunt somehow... Intriguing snippet!

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  20. LOL I knew the story was about her! I wonder what she'll do with him now. Hope you had a good time hiking, Millie!

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