A to Z Challenge

Saturday, August 2, 2014

WeWriWa - Someday I'm gonna be king!

It's August already, my how time flies.  It's time for Weekend Writing Warriors!  A day to share eight lines of work published or in progress.  Then, using the linky list at the above website...you can click, click, click to your little hearts content, finding such a crazy variety of writing to sample.  If this is your first time here, welcome, I'm glad you found us.  If you are a returning Warrior, welcome as well, and I'm so glad you came back!

Last week, we left off with little Kes pushing Zelera's buttons as she is trying to tell him a story and get him to fall asleep.  Let's see how they're progressing.  I believe Kes is in the middle of interrupting her once more...

“Was he strong and smart?  My daddy’s the king, and he’s strong and smart.  I’m gonna be strong and smart too.  Someday I’m going to be the king!”

“Kes, who’s telling this story?  Please keep your mouth shut tight.”  She glared down at him.  He drew the blanket up over his head, blocking out her angry violet eyes.  

I always love your input, let me know what you think : )

48 comments:

  1. I have a 4-yr old nephew who talks like that, LOL... great snippet, so cute. :-)

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    1. Thanks, some four year olds will try your patience for sure : )

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  2. Cute snippet. I'd up the anger by taking away the please and showing an angry voice. I like the action with the blanket.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/

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    1. She's trying to keep her cool, she wants him to think she's nice. Now, she doesn't always go about it properly, as it's not really who she is : )

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  3. I don't think she's going to be able to win his trust.

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    1. It's going to be a long road for these two : )

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  4. Awe, he has to be thawing her icy heart... :-) Nice snippet, Millie! Such great characterization you write! I'd like to read this book. :-)

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    1. I've been getting a few clamors...I'd better get cracking. I'm probably 10,000 words from the finish line, and then edits : )

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  5. She should admit defeat now. 4yo boys are stubborn little mites, and deviously lovable. LOL

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    1. It's not her way. But who knows what the future will hold for these two : )

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  6. I love your dialogue. This has just been a terrific exchange.

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  7. Aw he's lovely! Very realistic piece.

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  8. hihi, that's funny. He is never going to let her finish the story though.

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    1. They can be trying, but sweet, frustrating, but loving...

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  10. Oh my gosh Millie, this is great! Personally, I'm wondering if (without the restrictions a blog hop can have) instead of saying she glared you might come up with something a bit more creative. It's an early draft though and maybe it fits the POV anyway. Just wanted to mention. I adore how your characters always read like they fell fully-formed out of your head!

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    1. Shucks Marcia, thanks. This is absolutely rough...straight from Nano without revisions. I'll definitely look at this and see if it can get a bit more spice : )

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  11. He definitely comes across as a genuine four year old, well done! Wondering about all kinds of things in this story, which is excellent because I'm hooked. Great 8!

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    1. Thank you Veronica, that makes me so happy : )

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  12. I think if I was Zelera I would have already strangled him or thrown him into the dungeon. LOL Great snippet, Millie!

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  13. Tell me m,ore, mean auntie. So charming. Age vs age.

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    1. She's in a world of trouble, that's pretty clear : )

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  14. She definitely seems to have met her match. Love the interchange and the clash of personalities. Well done!

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    1. Thanks, she thought this would be a cake walk. Ha!

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  15. He won't be King if he interrupts her one time too many . . . or maybe even if he doesn't.

    Scary auntie is scary . . .

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    1. She is at that! Little ones sometimes don't have sense to know danger when it's looming before them...

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  16. Nice work with the clash of personalities. Children always have so many questions when they're being read to. Great snippet!

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    1. Don't they though? Most of us delight in that quality, at least I did with my children. But Zelera, not so much.

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    1. He's every little one I've ever told a story to : )

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  18. LOL...he's not gonna be taking a nap anytime soon and at this rate I don't see this story being a quick one. :) so fun.

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    1. He's got a lot of energy and she really hasn't given him many options to burn it...so you might be right!

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  19. The dynamics between them seems right on the mark. He's not going down easy. :D

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    1. Glad it's feeling like that for you : )

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  20. LOL. My kids did the same thing to me. It was like I'd never get to the end of the story. I hope I wasn't like the aunt, though. I'm waiting to see what she does.

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  21. So cute! I can just see his little face as he hides from her eyes. Great 8!

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  22. So funny...such a typical kid!

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    1. There are certain things about them that carry no matter who they are : )

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  23. Such an imaginative child. An author in the making. lol. So cute and fun, Millie! Well done! :)

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    1. Why thank you Evelyn, his brain is always working : )

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