A to Z Challenge

Saturday, August 30, 2014

WeWriWa - I won't make a peep!


It's time for another fun-filled edition of Weekend Writing Warriors.  Eight sentences at numerous blogs, of stories in just about every genre you could ask for.  Click the above link to find out more about the details, after you've read the eight sentences below, of course : )
 
I am continuing on from where we left off.  Zelera has just told Kes that he's pushed one too many buttons, and she's done trying to tell him a story...
 
Kes jutted out his bottom lip, opened his eyes wide and tipped his head down.  “I really am sorry, I did try to be good.”
“Listen, you just stay in here and be quiet.  If you do that, I’ll make you a special treat.  Would you like me to get you a cookie?”
Kes nodded, “I’ll be good, I promise...I won’t make a peep!”  He put his head down on the pillow and closed his eyes.  “Zzzzz,” he snored.

So, I'll try to get all around the blogosphere today and type coherently.  My middle child will have boarded a flight headed to Ireland for a semester abroad.  I will be tired, because I've been to the airport at too damn early in the morning...and I will be trying hard to keep a stiff upper lip.  I'm gonna miss her something fierce!  Hope you all are enjoying this last day of August! 

52 comments:

  1. He didn't make a peep, but he did make a zzz. What a kid will do for a cookie.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/

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  2. I love Kes!
    Good luck to your middle child, what an adventure, that is fantastic.

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    1. I love Kes too. Middle kid is on the first leg of her flight. I only sobbed for a little bit. I thought I did quite well.

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  3. So she's decided a cookie might work better than a story?

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    1. She's willing to give anything a try...

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  4. Ah, how sweets are the way to a kid's heart. Nice work on Kes's part. Hope your middle child has a fun semester in Ireland - it's a beautiful place.

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    1. Kids and sweets go hand in hand, don't they? I'm sure Sami will have the experience of a lifetime.

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  5. I wonder if she's starting to soften? Just a wee bit?? :-)

    A big hug to you, Millie. It's hard to watch them spread their wings. It'll be okay. <3

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  6. A poisoned cookie? Hehe I wonder, did he fall asleep immediately after he put his head on the pillow or was he pretending to snore? I was a little confused about that zzz at the end. Hope you can manage to get some sleep today, Millie. I'm sure your child will have an amazing time!

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    1. He was pretending...trying to show what a good boy he could be : )

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  7. Hee! Such a cute excerpt! If I'm really, really good, can I have a cookie too? :) Best of luck to your daughter! I'm sure she'll have an incredible adventure! And *hugs* for Mommy.

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    1. If I could send you a cookie, you bet! I'll gladly take that hug too : ). First leg of flight safe and smooth. She's in Texas : )

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  8. Kes certainly seems to be quite a handful. But don't you love when kids get all contrite? Lovely depiction of that in this snippet. And you hang in there Mom! I know you'll miss her, but what an opportunity! Maybe you can Skype! :)

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    1. She's got to soak up all the culture and bring it back to me. I love all her stories, she makes even the droll sound exciting. Kes is so dang cute, he's all my children rolled into one : )

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  9. LOL! Yup, anything for a cookie, but I can sympathize with that! These two are great. To me, Zelera seems like she's got some heart; she could have tied him up and gagged him, or even smacked him, but she's trying the sneaky, subtle way. I like that. It's so believeable! Hugs to the forlorn mom already missing her middle child. Ireland! How awesome is that? :-D

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    1. C is for cookie and it's good enough for me, and Kes : ). Sami's certainly lucky, I've never been to Ireland.

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  10. Now I have this funny image of Zelera trying to bake and getting even more ticked off. But she probably has minions or something. I think Kes has used the pouty lip and wide eyes to good affect before. These two make for some great interaction. (Maybe you could sneak off to Ireland for a visit???)

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    1. Yeah, Zelera isn't much of a cook. Magic can be handy...

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  11. This is a really sweet snippet. So cute!

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  12. Bribery with something as wonderful as a cookie usually works. :) Sweet snippet.

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    1. Well, it's probably going for work better than her story : )

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  13. Ooh, that's so exciting about your kid, though I'm sure you'll miss her so badly!

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    1. Yup, I missed her as she was going through security.

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  14. No peeps but a "zzzzz". So like a kid. Your dialogue is great!

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  15. "Zzzz" - is that a real snore or pretend? Cheeky kid - there's no way he'd fall asleep like that with the promise of cookies in the air :)

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  16. Awwwww! Kes is adorable :3 His aunt doesn't seem too bad here. But she does sound emotionally abusive from what I remember in previous snippets, and that can do some long-lasting damage. It's cute to see them bonding though. Few people or characters are without any redeemable qualities.

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  17. LOL aww, too cute. The fake sleep at the end was too much! I just picture her trying her best not to smile or laugh because she knows it's cute too. Fun 8.

    Hope your daughter has fun in Ireland. I'll be feeling like that this summer when my oldest will spend a semester in Italy as part of her honors program.

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    1. Zelera's not quite to the point where Kes is cute to her, but she's getting there. My daughter's plane is almost to New Jersey. So far so safe : ).

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  18. So very realistic about how the little boy is reacting. I can totally see him trying to pretend to be asleep - excellent excerpt!

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    1. Thank you, I'm glad his personality rings true : )

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  19. Cute snippet. I liked the snore affect, lol.
    Juneta at Writer's Gambit

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  20. How delicious is this, Millie. I read this to my six year old. She said, "He's faking it. I'd never fall asleep if you had cookies for me." So there!

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  21. LOL on the snore. Loved it. I hope your daughter has a great experience in Ireland. Maybe you could visit before she comes home.

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    1. I'd love to do that, but it's not likely...

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  22. It's SO HARD to write kids well but I love Kes! He's so sweet.

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  23. Ah, the snoring! Universal sign of a faking kid. :D

    I love your characters, Millie!

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  24. Trying and succeeding aren't always the same thing! I'm guessing he's pretending to snore, so maybe a word or two to indicate that might be helpful. For a moment, I thought he'd actually fallen asleep that quickly, which some kids can do.

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  25. Aw, this is very cute! I've been struggling with "kid" dialogue, but you've got it down!

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  26. Another great exchange. I remain curious why Zelera is so darn patient. I keep waiting for that other shoe to drop;).

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  27. Nice dialogue. I'm new to Weekend Writing Warriors so will have to catch up on the story so far. Looks forward to next week :-)

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  28. Hum, is he really sleeping or is he pretending? I'm sure he will peep again.

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