A to Z Challenge

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Wewriwa - No, you're gonna eat me!

It's Hot in the City, Hot in the City...today!  We've had some warm times here in California this past week.  Today promises to be well over 100 degrees.  So what better way to cool off than to sit in front of the air conditioner with a tall cool drink of whatever makes you happy (I love a fresh mojito myself) and read eight cool sentences after another.  If you follow this very chill link, right Here it'll take you to the Weekend Writing Warriors linky do-dad with tons of authors whose stories just might chill you to the bone...or if your clime is cool, there are authors on the list that will heat you up with their eight little sentences (I've needed to fan myself many a time).

So last week, the evil Aunt Zelera, was preparing to read Kes a story, when he innocently compared her to a spider...and cried out ,"Oh no."  If you'd like to refresh your memory click ME : )

“What now,” she seethed, the smile quivering on her face while her eyes simmered with annoyance.
“If you’re a spider, I’m the fly.  You’re gonna eat me!”  He jumped down off the bed and scrambled to hide underneath it.  He pushed and squeezed and inched his way further into the dark corner, as far from meanie auntie as possible.
“Come out of there this instant young man,” Zelera screeched.
“No, you’re gonna eat me!”
“I am not going to eat you,” she shrieked, “but if you don’t come out this moment, I might just beat you black and blue.”

I'm going to be out hiking early this am, Pacific Time, so look for me to check back in with you all later this afternoon.  We are attempting to make a hike around the river/lake that we live on (approximately 13 miles) and get out and back before the temps are triple digits.  Hope you all had a wonderful Fourth of July!!!

44 comments:

  1. I can't remember - is Zelera truly a meanie? I seem to think she is, and that is exactly the impression I get from this - that she is desperately trying to hide her meanness behind a cracking facade of friendliness.

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  2. LOL I love this kid. Can't wait to read more! Hope you had a good time at your hike! :)

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    1. Thank you, Kes is a lot of fun to write. Hike was glorious, watched the sunrise over the American River. Saw heron, red-tailed hawk, river otter, and lots of other critters.

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  3. Love the interchange here. I actually sympathize with Zelera in this scene! Like Botanist, I can't remember if she really is mean. So far she strikes me as understandably exasperated. Fun snippet.

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  4. Fun, fast paced snippet, kids huh!

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  5. Her facade is cracking badly at the moment! I hope someone comes to help the boy...spooky little excerpt!

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    1. Maybe he'll be able to handle himself : )

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  6. Haha! I was expecting something much more serious, after reading last week's excerpt. ☺ On the other hand, is Auntie really as mean as he thinks she is? Intriguing...

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    1. She is the villainess of the story : )

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  7. What fun. Love the dialogue, Millie.

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  8. I feel for both of them, lol. Very visual snippet. Well done. Hope you had a great time on your hike. :)

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    1. Hike was delightful, thank you! Yes, he's stressing, but she is as well.

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  9. You did a good job with the dialogue. This was entertaining, although I felt bad for the little boy when you said the aunt is the antagonist. I thought she might be joking when she said she would beat him black and blue :/ I think my favorite line was, "He pushed and squeezed and inched his way further into the dark corner, as far from meanie auntie as possible." This story appears to be written in 3rd person limited from the little boy's POV, and you really got inside his head, and described her exactly as he would. I am writing a short story, and it's from this guy's POV. There is a part from his childhood, and I used some metaphors that he would understand. So I appreciate that subtle touch in this excerpt.

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    1. Well thank you. This story is told from several people's points of view. This just happens to be a bit from Kes'. I'm glad you liked it : )

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  10. Oy! lol...don't mess with Auntie Meanie. Whew, she'll beat you black and blue. Great visual, Millie. :-)

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    1. She's all bark and no bite...or is she?

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  11. Yeah, threats will make him want to come out. Try bribery!

    A four-year old against a mean witch bent on world domination? I know which way I'll vote!

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    1. Yeah! Team Kes has it's first official member : ) (Zelera doesn't stand a chance : )

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  12. I don't think her strategy is working. He's showing his intelligence by staying hidden, lol.

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    1. Yeah, it's not something that'd bring me out of the shadows either. She's not been around children much, and she's used to scaring everyone into submission. New territory for her.

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  13. Great interaction...and I am glad she is not going to eat him;).

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  14. Haha the kid is awesome. He should get her with some fly-spray. I am hoping the kid is the lead character here, not the grouch? Good 8!

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    1. Multiple characters in this book, but yes, Kes definitely takes the lead in these scenes. Zelera doesn't stand a chance.

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  15. I think beating him black and blue is worse than eating him. Yikes! Nice snippet, Millie!

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    1. She's been having a rough couple days trying to corral this little tyke!

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    2. Nice to see you Frank...hopefully you post along with us next week : )

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  16. Nice scene. The aunt sounds like she isn't a person who'd enjoy being with children, but four year olds can drive you crazy.

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    1. Why yes they can. She's certainly not up for aunt of the month award...

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  17. Evil Aunt Zelera isn't very nice, is she? I'd hide under the bed too.

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  18. Nice scene! I don't think Zelera is very fond of children. LOL She kind of reminds me of the witch in Hansel and Gretel. :)

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  19. Thanks for the quick link back to last week's. It was very helpful. I'm immediately liking these two and the relationship they have. I don't know enough yet to know what Zelera is really like, however I'm intrigued to find out!

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