So last week, the evil Aunt Zelera, was preparing to read Kes a story, when he innocently compared her to a spider...and cried out ,"Oh no." If you'd like to refresh your memory click ME : )
“What now,” she seethed, the smile quivering on her face while her eyes simmered with annoyance.
“If you’re a spider, I’m the fly. You’re gonna eat me!” He jumped down off the bed and scrambled to hide underneath it. He pushed and squeezed and inched his way further into the dark corner, as far from meanie auntie as possible.
“Come out of there this instant young man,” Zelera screeched.
“No, you’re gonna eat me!”
“I am not going to eat you,” she shrieked, “but if you don’t come out this moment, I might just beat you black and blue.”
I'm going to be out hiking early this am, Pacific Time, so look for me to check back in with you all later this afternoon. We are attempting to make a hike around the river/lake that we live on (approximately 13 miles) and get out and back before the temps are triple digits. Hope you all had a wonderful Fourth of July!!!
How old is Kes?
ReplyDeleteA very precocious four year old.
DeleteLOL. Awesome! Great 8!
ReplyDeleteWhy thank you : )
DeleteI can't remember - is Zelera truly a meanie? I seem to think she is, and that is exactly the impression I get from this - that she is desperately trying to hide her meanness behind a cracking facade of friendliness.
ReplyDeleteZelera is not a very nice person...
DeleteLOL I love this kid. Can't wait to read more! Hope you had a good time at your hike! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kes is a lot of fun to write. Hike was glorious, watched the sunrise over the American River. Saw heron, red-tailed hawk, river otter, and lots of other critters.
DeleteLove the interchange here. I actually sympathize with Zelera in this scene! Like Botanist, I can't remember if she really is mean. So far she strikes me as understandably exasperated. Fun snippet.
ReplyDeleteShe's out of her element : )
DeleteFun, fast paced snippet, kids huh!
ReplyDeleteKids are amazing : )
DeleteHer facade is cracking badly at the moment! I hope someone comes to help the boy...spooky little excerpt!
ReplyDeleteMaybe he'll be able to handle himself : )
DeleteHaha! I was expecting something much more serious, after reading last week's excerpt. ☺ On the other hand, is Auntie really as mean as he thinks she is? Intriguing...
ReplyDeleteShe is the villainess of the story : )
DeleteWhat fun. Love the dialogue, Millie.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much : )
DeletePoor little kid!
ReplyDeleteRight now...definitely!
DeleteI feel for both of them, lol. Very visual snippet. Well done. Hope you had a great time on your hike. :)
ReplyDeleteHike was delightful, thank you! Yes, he's stressing, but she is as well.
DeleteYou did a good job with the dialogue. This was entertaining, although I felt bad for the little boy when you said the aunt is the antagonist. I thought she might be joking when she said she would beat him black and blue :/ I think my favorite line was, "He pushed and squeezed and inched his way further into the dark corner, as far from meanie auntie as possible." This story appears to be written in 3rd person limited from the little boy's POV, and you really got inside his head, and described her exactly as he would. I am writing a short story, and it's from this guy's POV. There is a part from his childhood, and I used some metaphors that he would understand. So I appreciate that subtle touch in this excerpt.
ReplyDeleteWell thank you. This story is told from several people's points of view. This just happens to be a bit from Kes'. I'm glad you liked it : )
DeleteOy! lol...don't mess with Auntie Meanie. Whew, she'll beat you black and blue. Great visual, Millie. :-)
ReplyDeleteShe's all bark and no bite...or is she?
DeleteYeah, threats will make him want to come out. Try bribery!
ReplyDeleteA four-year old against a mean witch bent on world domination? I know which way I'll vote!
Yeah! Team Kes has it's first official member : ) (Zelera doesn't stand a chance : )
DeleteI don't think her strategy is working. He's showing his intelligence by staying hidden, lol.
ReplyDeleteYeah, it's not something that'd bring me out of the shadows either. She's not been around children much, and she's used to scaring everyone into submission. New territory for her.
DeleteGreat interaction...and I am glad she is not going to eat him;).
ReplyDeleteNot today, anyway ; )
DeleteHaha the kid is awesome. He should get her with some fly-spray. I am hoping the kid is the lead character here, not the grouch? Good 8!
ReplyDeleteMultiple characters in this book, but yes, Kes definitely takes the lead in these scenes. Zelera doesn't stand a chance.
DeleteI think beating him black and blue is worse than eating him. Yikes! Nice snippet, Millie!
ReplyDeleteShe's been having a rough couple days trying to corral this little tyke!
DeleteNice to see you Frank...hopefully you post along with us next week : )
DeleteNice scene. The aunt sounds like she isn't a person who'd enjoy being with children, but four year olds can drive you crazy.
ReplyDeleteWhy yes they can. She's certainly not up for aunt of the month award...
DeleteEvil Aunt Zelera isn't very nice, is she? I'd hide under the bed too.
ReplyDeleteNope, not nice at all...
DeleteNice scene! I don't think Zelera is very fond of children. LOL She kind of reminds me of the witch in Hansel and Gretel. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the quick link back to last week's. It was very helpful. I'm immediately liking these two and the relationship they have. I don't know enough yet to know what Zelera is really like, however I'm intrigued to find out!
ReplyDeleteWonderful, glad to hear it : )
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